I have to tell you something, but you need to make sure that this never gets out.
I'm so ashamed and I really don't need any more fingers pointed at me, while they whisper behind their hands.
It's all my own fault, I know, but at the time I was not thinking and I didn't realize the consequences then.
My children are such a disappointment to me and because of them I will have a tainted reputation forever. They will be tarred with the same brush as well, but since they are still young, I as the father figure will be blamed many years from now, not them.
If my daughter had come to me and said that she is pregnant with an English footballers love child or that she wanted to marry the son of an African dictator, I might have been able to absorb the shock and maybe see a shrink to recover. I would have been able to support her and looked the world in the eye and told those gossipers that it's human to err.
I could have done the same if my son came to me and told me that he's about to marry a Kardashian or Lindsey Lohan. It's human and the flesh is a horrible temptation - even though I would have seriously worried about his eye sight and standards if he came to me with something like this.
But all this happened because of my own weakness. My lack of foresight and keeping my brains together.
Blame me!! Yes it's me! I was weak and stupid and not a good father....
Regret comes too late. Let me tell you this. Learn from me. It's hard to take the responsibility and see the blame in the eyes of your wife, friends and other family. You can grit your teeth and laugh through it.
You can keep up appearances and hope the stigma that sticks to your person and those of your innocent (albeit stupid and disappointing) children, like cheap, revolting, sweet, hooker perfume will eventually wash off and people will forget or maybe move to another country or die and all will be good again, but the damage that might be done to the psyche of two young kids is still unknown and that may haunt me forever.
I am guilty. I take responsibility. I am sorry!!!!!
I bought them the Justin Bieber tickets....
Groete uit die woestyn en van al die Arabiere
H of Arabia
