In Dubai and probably the whole of the Middle East, North Africa and the Levant, I've come across "very important"people. Very important indeed. They have to push in front of the queue. This is whether they drive or for a brief moment walk form check in to the boarding gate at the airport. That is if the golf buggy was not stopped and some elderly gentleman with a cane was not shouldered and sent reeling down the travelator to get a seat, which is after all for the elderly, injured or pregnant. Now unless the Americans have made more than one male person pregnant - that's the story I read in the local papers- there is usually nothing wrong with these guys. They are just very important!
You would also notice them secretly whispering to the check in personnel or what ever they call the guys who always tear my very expensive tickets. For those who might be in the dark about the reason for the conspiratorial whispering. They trying to get an upgrade from economy to first class, 'cause that is where the cream of the crop needs to travel. No why pay for it if they guy who checks you in speaks the same language and can see from your attitude that you are important.
I have a few rules in life. One is that if the person who wants to turn into your lane an uses his/her indicator, let him/her come in. If there is no indicator, no entry mate!. Learn the rules.
I also have a second rule that if I put on the indicator light and you close the 100 meter gap that existed a millisecond before I put on the indicator light and my car is bigger than yours, I turn and you turn with me. Just because it is bad manners to close a wide open gap. Especially if I indicated first. Never take advantage of prior knowledge of my actions.
Some of the other rules will be dealt with in later issues of this gold mine of information.
Pushing in is a bit irritating and it does make me see red sometimes, but it always brings a smile when the ticket tearer or check in engineer sends them to somewhere warm with a smile. They talk about dogs and tail between the legs. The sight of these sulking important hero's is much sadder than a dog with its tail between its legs.
But I probably have to come to the point of this very important edition.
Important people are always in a hurry. That is a given. In Dubai and again the rest of this region it also seem that even the unimportant people are always in a hurry. This makes people react very strangely and also do things which is totally fruitless.
The invention of lifts was a fantastic innovation not only for the lazy but also the unimportant workers in tall skyscrapers all over the world.
Initially, I suppose they were driven by chains and possibly slaves who had to work in the summer heat in 12 hour shifts.
Then NASA (I think) invented computers and they added computerized motors to these things. You press a button and, unless you live on a movie set in Hollywood, you wait.
I've made a point of trying to understand the things I deal with on a daily basis. That includes the basics of how a computer and a lift works, but totally excludes the inner workings of my car's engine.
I've learnt that pushing the button of a lift once will make it come at some stage. I've learnt that patients is a virtue and that you can press that lift button as many times as you want to. It will not come faster, unless you have a copy of the fire man's key, but then you need to be inside the lift (I think). I've also learnt that the buttons that show you to close the door quicker do not work, while the ones you use to keep the door open will be activated for five minutes after keeping the door open for someone else.
So with all this knowledge I was waiting for the lift the other day. I was there first and I was alone. I pressed the button once and waited. I could see from the little indicator lamp thingamajig that the lift was on floor 3. I was on G for ground floor. The arrow showed the computer received my message and was coming down.
I stood there waiting patiently. It arrived at 2. Stopped for a while and proceeded after dropping off or picking up someone.
It came past 1 and I held my breath.
And then it happened. Rajkumar almighty enters the scene. He must be very important, but he does not know the fine details of the inner workings of a lift. He looks at me like I'm some sad sack of sh.. eep dung. So he walks up to the lift button and while looking at me with contempt he presses the button twice as hard as he can.
The door opens like in the Hollywood movies. He walks in and I can see him shaking his head in his mind at this fool who doesn't know sh.. eep dung.
He is important and he can operate a lift. His is almighty, Rajkumar almighty....
